When a seller buys!
‘I see the world
through a different lens. I look around the world with a different view. When
the world feels amused seeing the birds chirping- I get dazed hearing them
talk! When people around me start talking; I fail to hear their voice. I get
stoned at times realising the speed at which the earth is revolving around us
and then at times I hope to outrun time.
I am on my own
journey- treading the path of life, in search of the place where I don’t feel
out-of-place…’
Like any other day, as Ayanti was busy putting her many,
contradicting thoughts fighting inside her head on paper- she heard a knock on
the door. She looked at the clock- 10:00pm. Ayanti rarely had visitors. The
only time people wanted to visit her or call her was when they are in need!
Never in her life did she have a companion, who had shown a true interest in
knowing her, talking to her or patiently listening to her… The surging emotions
within Ayanti were always left un-surfed!
This time she was not keen on opening the door. There was a
certain part of her that was not ready to let her mask her feelings with a
smile and open the door to the world.
While she tried getting back to her writing she again heard
the knock.
She put her pen down,
put her glasses away, stole a glimpse of herself in the side mirror, arranged
her curls and got up to walk towards the door.
She saw through the eye hole, outside the house stood a dark
huge ugly man with a child. She asked, ‘What do you want?’ The man replied, “I
am sorry, I know you are shut for the day but it’s urgent”. She looked down,
took a deep breath and slowly opened the door- she looked up at the ugly man’s
face and then down at the innocent child. She knew what he wants. She knew what
the child wanted.
Still, she again asked, “What do you want?” The man said, “I
would again need a jar of Care”.
Ayanti looked shocked! She asked, “But only last week I gave
you 5 bottles of Care! What did you do?” The child replied, “Father, again came
home drunk, had hurt my mother and pushed me back. That’s when all the jars got
rotten and we had to throw them”.
The child with tears in his eyes, kneeled. With his tiny
palms folded before Ayanti, pleaded for another jar.
She looked into the eyes of the child and then she stared at
the man. She knew if she again gives them ‘Care’ the man would again let it
decay.
She lifted the child, smiled at him. She held him close to
her bosom and whispered into his ears. The child looked into Ayanti’s eyes and
smiled.
Ayanti, then picked up a small jar full of determination and
gave it to the man. She told him, that it’s only his determination to ‘love’
and ‘Care’ his family can help him leave the many distractions in life.
Further, once he had determination with him, no illusion
will be able to influence him, anymore.
The man did not seem to be convinced. But, he knew that
Ayanti had never been wrong in her life when it came to selling the right
emotion to a person.
He accepted the jar of determination. The child smiled,
waved goodbye to her and left with his father.
While leaving the child looked back once at her with a hope of not to return. Each one who visited Ayanti had always left her with the hope of never to return because they never wanted to lose the emotions they get from her, nor did they ever wanted to feel the emptiness again, which Ayanti’s jars of emotions, helped to fill.
While leaving the child looked back once at her with a hope of not to return. Each one who visited Ayanti had always left her with the hope of never to return because they never wanted to lose the emotions they get from her, nor did they ever wanted to feel the emptiness again, which Ayanti’s jars of emotions, helped to fill.
Ayanti was very well-versed with how people around the city
felt when they left from her house. But, still she was happy. She knew that the
overflowing barrels of her emotions would be of no use if she can’t give them
to the ones in need.
But, in her business, while she kept inflicting emotions in
others and getting hearts together, Ayanti was being left all alone.
No one has ever walked through the doors, to find the
emptiness in Ayanti’s heart. Never had there been a visitor who thought of
finding out the ‘true soul- trapped in Ayanti’s body’.
Ayanti was known all-around the city as the ‘Smiling Queen’.
No one has ever left her house disappointed or without a jar of positive
emotions. But, while she traded emotions for the world. While she distributed joy
around her… while she gave feelings to people, she kept feeling empty.
She was waiting for someone who would not just see her
smiling face but will be able to hear her soul-crying out for help. She longed
to be with a heart that will not just want to take emotions from her but will
give her some in return.
But, Ayanti knew, it’s a wish that can never come true. She
knew she was born to ‘Sell Emotions’. She was born to spread joy, love, care…
She was born to take care of others.
Days went by, months passed-by. Every day, Ayanti opened the
door of her house and her heart- welcoming people.
Her smile was enough to assure each heart that they can
never be denied of joy. Each one visited her, poured their heart out to her.
Ayanti, patiently would listen to each one of them and help them with the right
dose of every emotion that they were deprived of.
People found comfort in confiding their deepest/darkest
secrets to Ayanti because they knew, she never believed in making her
assumptions about a person. She would accept each one with open arms and a big
comforting smile.
Ayanti was always heard telling her visitors, ‘Don’t worry,
I will make sure you feel better’. But, no one knew that Ayanti herself was
longing to hear these words for herself. She felt tired from within- taking
care of the world. Her soul craved to break-out from her body and be no one but
herself. She wanted to cry when she is sad, laugh when she is happy, dance when
she celebrates. She never wanted to be bound by time. She never wanted to live
by the rules of the world or get burdened under the responsibilities of the
world.
But, the world kept looking up to her. She knew the world
outside her home needed her. They wanted to seek emotions from her. Thinking
about the rest of the world Ayanti let her life go by. She let the world rule
her life as she kept ‘selling emotions’ to them.
The only way she kept her soul alive was by writing. Her
only companion were words. The only one who understood her emotions were her
thoughts. So, every night Ayanti, let her soul pour her feelings out on a paper
and sealed it away so that none can ever know!
Years passed-by.
From being a young, charming girl, Ayanti grew into an attractive
woman. The few strands of grey in her hair reflected her experiences in life.
The few wrinkles around her eyes showed the many paths of emotions that she had
tread in her life- through other people’s heart.
One day, as the clock struck 12 midnight, Ayanti got up from
her sleep as she heard a vigorous knock at the door. She got terrified by the
sound. Never did she expect a visitor so late! But, the knock on the door didn’t
stop. She hurried down in her night gown to open the door.
To her surprise, there was no one. She looked outside the
door but found none. She locked the door and was about to walk back to her
room- when again she heard the thump.
She ran down to catch the one at the door. But she was again
disappointed. She looked to her left, then to her right- there was no one. She
screamed, “Hello, who is it”, no reply. She again called out, “Don’t worry,
tell me who you are!”. No one replied. As
she was walking back into her house, she stumbled upon a small jar. It was the
same kind of jar in which she sells her emotions. It had a pink ribbon on it.
From the colour of the ribbon she knew that the jar held- smiles.
Ayanti, was over-joyed. Never had she imagined anyone to
think of her need and extend such emotions to her. She took the jar in. Kept it
on the table and smiled. She smiled for real. She smiled from within. She felt
her soul smiling as she realised that there was someone out there concerned
about what from within she wanted. While Ayanti, spent the time staring at the
jar and unable to stop smiling; she again heard the same knock on the door.
She ran to the door, and opened it. Soon, a wind blew on to
her face, swirled through her curls and left her feeling cold. She felt the
sharp wind gushing inside her heart, moving through her body. She could find her
skin feel the excitement in the air. She could smell the sweetness in it. She
felt thrilled to experience the air brushing across her cheek. Her lips felt
parched! The excitement within her; left her numb. For the first time in her
life, she could sense her emotional storm from within swirling outside her.
She heard someone whisper in her ears,
“Let thy emotions flow, Let every moment glow.
Let your heart
sing-a-loud, dance and be-proud!”
The words cast a spell on Ayanti- as she started dancing
like a young girl. She forgot the bindings of the world. She forgot the
responsibilities she was born with. For the first time in her life, she got the
time for herself. A moment that she can claim to be hers. She saw every feeling
running towards her. She felt as if the whole world was waiting out there to
listen to her, talk to her, look at her and understand her. She felt for the
first time- that without words she was communicating. She was truly expressing
her emotions. She cried, she laughed and she felt over-whelmed.
The night passed-by with Ayanti being embraced by all that
she ever wanted. The sun-rise brought with it a new day. It was a day, where
Ayanti didn’t have to live only for others. She just didn’t have to take care
of other’s feelings- she knew that the universe was now taking care of hers.
But, as the day progressed, people came to her door to find
her lying on hundreds of jars of emotions. She lay on them, cold and dead!
But, she still had
the smile on her face. People sobbed around her. But, this time Ayanti’s soul
smiled in peace. The smile on her face was not just for others but for herself.
Her soul felt-free. She was free.
